


Another Man's Treasure

by Ifrit



Series: Pizza Just Wouldn't Be The Same Without It [1]
Category: Devil May Cry
Genre: Crack, EXTREME dick cheese warning. do not read if grossed out by dick cheese, Foreskin Play, Implied/Referenced Incest, M/M, Oral Sex, Plot What Plot/Porn Without Plot, Smegma, dick cheese, i wrote this just to gross out DN friends u guys r vewy vewy welcome
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-27
Updated: 2019-04-27
Packaged: 2020-02-07 05:22:33
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 945
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18613993
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ifrit/pseuds/Ifrit
Summary: With the water and electric bills gone unpaid for months, Dante almost forgets he lives in a constant state of filth.Nero doesn't, though.  Nero Never Forgets.





	Another Man's Treasure

**Author's Note:**

> I'd like to thank Luna for this amazing idea. I hope I did you proud, my wife.

“Are you sure about this, kid?”

Dante’s leaning against the wall next to the windows, panels firmly shut even with the electricity shut off.  Sweat drips from his hairline to the base of his jaw. It’s  _ sweltering. _

Nero looks up from where he has his mouth grabbing at the outline of Dante’s cock through his jeans.  “Why wouldn’t I be sure about this?  _ You  _ were the one who told me to come over.”

Yes - but that was before Dante realized he’d been stewing in his own filth under his (unwashed) leather jacket, in a building with no running water.  

Although, Nero hadn’t complained once about the heat, or even the smell.  Maybe the kid didn’t mind?

Shivering, Dante grabs Nero’s short hair.  “I was  _ horny.   _ It’s hard to think when I get like that-”

“-as if you ever use that tiny brain of yours-”

“-and I haven’t showered in…” Dante glares at Nero for interrupting, then pauses.  When  _ was _ the last time he’d showered?  Between missions, ordering pizza, and thirsting over Nero, Dante doesn’t have much time left in the day reserved for his personal hygiene.

Nero, for his part, just smirks up at the older man.  “That pause is  _ real _ telling.  How bad is it gonna be..?”  More than disgust, Nero’s voice is filled with glee.  But Dante knows what’s about to happen, and he braces for Nero’s inevitable freak out at the horrible smell brewing from his crotch.

The kid unzips his pants, and Dante’s half-hard dick flops right onto his face.  Looking down, his face is frozen in an expression of shock - but Dante can hear Nero breathing.  In fact, his breaths are so deep that it almost seems like Nero is taking great big whiffs of his musk - wait, he  _ is.   _

Nero slides a few fingers along Dante’s shaft teasingly, giving it a testing lick.  “I knew it was gonna be bad, but it’s somehow even  _ worse _ .”  

Embarrassed, Dante looks away.  “Look, kid, I gave you fair warning-!”  

He’s interrupted by the shocking sensation of his foreskin being peeled back.  Gasping, he grips Nero’s hair tightly and pulls his head back so he can look him in the eye.  “And what the hell do you think you’re doing?”

“What does it look like, old man?” Nero hums cheekily, gaze locking onto the present he’s unwrapping slowly.  “I’m getting what I came here for in the first place.”

What?   _ What?  _  Dante feels dizzy with confusion, but the feeling is soon overcome with pleasure once Nero kisses the tip of Dante’s dick.  A string of precum follows his lips as he pulls back.

“You’re fucking  _ filthy, _ ” Nero moans delightedly, and Dante’s confused dick surges with precum at the… the degradation?  Praise? Maybe it was both, if Nero’s enjoyment was anything to go by.

Without warning, Nero slides a finger under Dante’s foreskin and drags it along the circumference of his nasty cock.  Feeling disgust well up from the base of his throat, Dante gives a harsh pull. “Tell me what the hell you have planned, kid, because if you even  _ think _ about putting that garbage inside your mouth-”

Nero withdraws his finger, taking a good, long look at his harvest before wiping it off on a nearby pizza box.  “God, who do you think I am?” He presses Dante’s dick between his index finger and thumb, pulling them up the length of Dante’s cock to sheath it just below the glans.  “I was just getting you ready. You really  _ should  _ take a shower, you know that?”

“Yeah, and I would if you’d just  _ listen  _ to me-!”  Again, Nero impatiently interrupts him by swallowing Dante’s dick halfway, eyes rolling back in his head as he presumably savors the taste of Dante’s unwashed erection. 

Nasty or not, Dante feels like he’s died and gone to heaven.  “ _ Nero _ ,” he moans, hips lifting off the wall to bury himself deeper inside Nero’s throat, “God, you’re fucking  _ crazy _ .  No,  _ I’m  _ crazy for letting you do this.”

Nero gives no response aside from working his throat around Dante’s cock faster, burying his nose in Dante’s unkempt pubic hair before pulling back and lashing at his slit with the tip of his tongue. 

His skill had Dante trembling in a matter of minutes, knees getting weaker and weaker the more Nero convinced him this was all worth it.  Finally, Dante grabs Nero’s head with both hands and smashes Nero’s face against his crotch, moaning pathetically as his throbbing cock empties itself down Nero’s esophagus.

Nero allows Dante to hold himself there for almost a minute before pushing at his hips, opening his mouth wide and showing Dante the thick, disgusting cum on his tongue as he gasped for air.

Of course, Nero swallowed it.

All the strength sapped out of him with that one blowjob, Dante sinks to the floor and lands on his bare, sweat-covered ass. The respite gives him time to think, and Dante’s eyes land on the sizeable bulge straining underneath Nero’s own jeans.

On second thought, Nero came straight here from a job, sweaty as all hell from exertion, not just the heat radiating through the building.

“Nero, you’re not cut, are you?”

Head snapping up, Nero breaks out into a deep blush.  “No, but - wait, no, Dante, you can’t-”

It was too late.  Dante lunged forwards, bringing Nero’s pants down around his ankles in record time.

* * *

 

When Lady and Trish opened the door to the agency, the smell they were greeted with was so foul that they stumbled down the steps gagging, eyes watering automatically.

And when Dante and Nero got back from Dante’s favorite pizza place, they returned to find Devil May Cry condemned.

**Author's Note:**

> Follow me on twitter [@ifrit_inferno](https://twitter.com/ifrit_inferno) for more smegma crimes


End file.
